the joy that is a hardware store

dear lovelies
I was passing a hardware store the other day in the car and exclaimed enthusiastically to my friend, 'Now that's a really good hardware store over there. They have a great paintbrush section' It was, I thought, an unremarkable comment, but she turned and said to me in a tone of huge disappointment, 'What has happened to you? You used to be so sophisticated! You used to be my sophisticated friend!' 'Well,' I replied, wanting desperately to retain some air of sophistication,'I really don't see how the two things are mutually exclusive?! I can be sophisticated and love hardware stores and play the ukulele! It's called diversity and multi-tasking.'

Okay I confess a love for a good hardware store. That intoxicating smell of steel and rubber mixed with a bit of grease and garden fertiliser - you can't beat it. All those neat rows of shiny hammers and drills. What's not to like??

A good hardware store represents hope and possibility. The hope that yes you can renovate that disgusting kitchen and make it into something you could actually cook a meal in and the possibility of all those DIY projects you've dreamt about becoming reality. Yes of course you can convert the crumbling fibro garden shed into a palatial outdoor gazebo and of course you can make a fantastic bed out of those recycled timber doors and floorboards. Why do people want to crush your dreams?!!

The only thing that is wrong about hardware stores is that they don't really fit in with the current austerity measures that I, dear reader, have been attempting to implement. Going to a hardware store and not coming out with something handy like a multi-head screwdriver and a bag of gladioli bulbs is nigh impossible. But like the Spanish people I have been rebelling against aforementioned austerity measures. The government policy on such fiscal matters is going to have to change. This rebellion happened about the time that I realised that the $15 I was saving each week by denying myself my daily cappuccino (HUGE sacrifice) really needed to be about $15000 worth of savings to be of any use!! 

So Katerina della Austerita has been thrown out of office and Katerina della 'Ardware rules OK?! and she's like roolly sophisticated......

yours in the aisle with the really cool wheelbarrows

Katerina xx

some handy pre-purchase renovation advice

renovation

Variant of renovate

transitive verb renovated, renovating

1. to make fresh or sound again, as though new; clean up, replace worn and broken parts in, repair, etc.
2. to refresh; revive

the 8 rules of refreshing and reviving a house with broken parts in the cold cold mountains

1. never ever buy said property !

2. bad luck if you did buy it now you have to pay

3. never buy a property with a large liquid amber tree in the front yard with roots that extend under the house and are heading rapidly towards the sewerage pipes

4. marry a professional tree lopper

5. if the tree lopper has bad breath go for the electrician

6. never buy a property that has a sloping and inaccessible driveway that has no drainage and becomes a muddy sodden river of mud in the rain

7. forget marriage get it on with a structural landscaper who can build accessible concrete driveways

8. before you sign the contract realise that the house is a giant wooden ice cube and you are never going to feel warm.......ever again

yours feeling a little bleak in renovation land

Katerina xx

vomitus carpetus

dear lovers of a good floorboard

My house was feeling a little queasy the other day and vomited up a bunch of ancient, filthy carpets and lino but I think it feels a whole lot better now.......

The dust and dirt of the ages descended upon the carpet removal crew, Mel, Stella, Ingrid and myself, as we furiously tore and ripped our way to the bottom of layers of filthy carpets and lino to reveal the most beautiful hardwood floorboards. The transformation of the space was astonishing.

BEFORE

I use the term carpet loosely.......

AND AFTER  

gorgeous hardwood floorboards revealed

Ingrid and Mel apply finishing touches

I cannot wait to see the floorboards sanded and polished in a few weeks time. Luckily due to the fact that the original lino was never removed (judging by the pattern it dates back to at least the twenties or possibly even earlier) and layers of carpet variously stapled and nailed to the floor over the years, the floorboards have been beautifully preserved. The whole space feels transformed now that those smelly and disgusting carpets have gone. My thanks to the wonderful team of friends who helped in the transformation. The psycho room is no more. There is still more carpet and lino to go in other rooms but the worst has been done and the results are amazing!

yours in need of a really really good shower

Katerina x

ACME Carpet Removals 
'No carpet too putrid - no house too dilapidated'
Mel, Stella e moi  - carpet rippers extraordinaire

the psycho room

dear vicarious renovators
George the handyman came to give me a quote.  He looked around the room and then gave me a sheepish look. 'Um what er shall I call this room?', he asked. 'Oh just call it the psycho room' I said. 'Oh', he said looking relieved and writing on his piece of paper, 'Psycho Room'. This is a room I could hire out as a setting for a crime show. It looks as if bad things have happened here, really bad things. I will of course have to scrub the words SLAYER off the leadlight windows and scrub the walls and then conduct an exorcism!! Okay so there's a little bit of mould , okay quite a bit and the windows don't open and there is a large hole in the wall and I could go on.....at least George didn't seem phased.

On revisiting my house again, for only the second time, the sight that greeted me was somewhat overwhelmingly derelict. Barely liveable was actually kind of well accurate. OMG! What have I done! Yes for sure it has potential, it has good bones it's just really hard to know exactly where to start there is so much that is wrong.

I asked George if I was completely mad or what?! He said no no it has got good bones, it will look great when you've finished, and then he gave me some good advice. Just start one room at a time, be patient and bit by bit it will transform. So I took a deep breath and then another deep breath and decided okay alright I'm going to focus on the kitchen, a house with a good kitchen is liveable. Okay. Alright I feel better.  Thanks George!

yours in renovation
Katerina x

lentils rule ok

dear fellow frugalists

Cracked and had 2 take away cappuccinos this week - curses! Went to the pictures with a friend and it cost $17 for the ticket. Damn! Trying not to spend $ and have a life is very challenging. Eating healthily is expensive so enter the lentil stage left. People think I'm joking when I say the humble lentil is my friend.  Lentils are cheap as and at the moment that's how I like it. And small fact - they are full of protein, vitamin B1 and iron. Archaeologists have found evidence people were eating them thousands of years ago. So if it was good enough for Neolithic woman it's good enough for me.  This recipe can be whipped up in no time and you can add grated carrot or zucchini  or some diced onion to the mixture - whatever does it for you

Here is my recipe for Neolithic Lentil Burgers

Ingredients

1 cup cold mashed potato

400g canned brown lentils

1 tbsp curry paste or powder

1 egg

1/2 cup breadcrumbs or crushed Vita Brits

1 tbsp olive oil

Place all the ingredients together in a mixing bowl and yes mix them together. Season with salt and pepper. How easy is that? Divide into small patties - not too large. Heat the oil in a pan and cook your patties until they are brown on each side.

Serve with a green salad (maybe snow peas for crunch and some salad leaves) and a lovely dressing/ dipping sauce of 1/2 cup plain yoghurt , 1/4 cup lemon juice and 2 tbsp of tahini ( sesame seed paste from the health food section of your supermarket. If it's too bitey add a small teaspoonful of honey.

Any leftover mash keep to make potato cakes for breakfast - add an egg and then a small amount of plain flour until the mixture is stiff. Fry until brown in some oil.

And that lovelies is my austerity tip for the week apart from drying out your teabags on the line and reusing them - hmmmm just joking although I did share a house with someone who actually did this.......he wasn't frugal he was just mean!

Katerina della Austerita!  x

in sympathy with the spanish people

dear darling darlings
My pen was poised one centimetre above the page to sign when my conveyancer said, 'Are you quite sure?'. What do you mean am I sure, I screamed inside, how can you say that to me now??!!? Outwardly I turned towards her and smiled the smile of the condemned woman, a kind of inscrutable Mona Lisa smile, and said quite calmly, 'Yes of course I'm sure', and signed the paper. Yes so blithely I signed that paper as if it were nothing, nyet, niente. Foolish woman!

And yes my friends that is how I came to be the owner of my very own pile of rubble in the Blue Mountains in Australia and how I also came to be in total sympathy with the Spanish people. Why the Spanish people I hear you ask?? It has nothing to do with my Spanish heritage, great grand daddy Santos, oh no no no, it's due to having to convert a pile of rubble into something I can actually live in. I was most upset when the building inspector, having completed his inspection, reported that my home, my gorgeous 1920's house in the mountains was barely liveable! Barely liveable!?#* Is the man blind? Can he not see what I see? Obviously not. Barely liveable. It has heating, it has hot water, there is a bath and a kitchen sink and a stove, what more does one need?? Barely liveable. Didn't he see the original leadlight windows and front door? Didn't he see the original fireplace or the dresser in the kitchen? The old girl has good bones. I can see what it will look like when I've finished and she will look amazing. She just needs some love, don't we all?

So anyway once I started to tote up all the things I needed to do to the old girl and  I realised some pretty frugal times were  ahead and I started to love the Spanish people enduring as they are, their own austerity measures. So when I wear my tights with the holes in the feet and when I make my coffee using coffee bags rather than my usual daily cappuccino, my heart goes out to the Spanish people. They are my peeps, my bros and my sistas, yo or si senor, they're wearing stockings with holes too and having to reduce their serving of paella and cut down on the flamenco classes. Challenging times. So I am totally into the whole austerity thing you know. I'm taking my lunch to work each day and lentils and baked beans are now my friends. I stock up on the specials at the supermarket. I've cancelled my gym membership. Ouch!

So follow me as I negotiate the world of renovation, my own and the house! It's going to be a wild ride!
Settlement is early August and before I actually move in I'm going to get some walls removed and the floorboards polished and then start painting. I'll be dealing with the whole change of lifestyle from cityslicker urbanite to mountains momma - for those not in the know the Blue Mountains are to the west of Sydney and about and hour and half to two hour drive from the CBD - so it should be interesting. One friend who lives up there already said yes, great I'll introduce you to some people so you can meet all the freaks in the mountains! oh yay.......fantastic.......I love meeting freaks......too late to back out now....

So when my conveyancer asked me if I was sure, I wonder what she knew that I didn't know?? I think I may be about to find out.....

this is the mountains senorita Katerina di Austerita signing off in holey stockings while eating lentil burgers and knitting her own socks